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EXCLUSIVE! I’m there for Patra, but acting is a lonely process: Rajkummar Rao

EXCLUSIVE! I’m there for Patra, but acting is a lonely process: Rajkummar Rao

Renuka Vyavahare / Dec 10, 2024, 11:55 IST

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Rajkummar Rao and Patralekhaa had a smashing year professionally but on personal front, both endured the loss of their parents and a pet. They spoke to Bombay Times about navigating life and a film career.

EXCLUSIVE! I’m there for Patra, but acting is a lonely process: Rajkummar Rao

Rajkummar Rao and Patralekhaa

'With grief, you just have to go through it. You can’t snowboard into work. There’s no escape from it'

"If actors were to be judged based on their social media following, Kim Kardashian should have been the biggest Hollywood star. Ranbir Kapoor is not even on social media, and he is a solid actor! An actor must be deserving of the time an audience invests in him/her” – Rajkummar Rao

“Raj was seeing success after success, and he would never talk about it, but I knew that my journey pained him a bit. Recognition for me has come in bits and pieces. It’s always good to get that validation for your craft. It took me ten years!” -- Patralekhaa
In an industry that’s known to be tumultuous, Rajkummar Rao and Patralekhaa have been each other’s rock-solid support. In an exclusive interview with us, Raj and Patra, who celebrated their third wedding anniversary last month, speak about navigating ups and downs in the competitive world of movies, and how their personal losses have changed their outlook towards life. Read on...
Both IC 814: The Kandahar Hijack and Stree 2 did well. Patra, does it feel rewarding to finally get acknowledged?
Patra: When you are not doing well, you hustle but when your partner or sibling isn’t doing well, that makes it more difficult. You feel you can’t do anything about it. That was Raj’s journey with me. Raj was seeing success after success, and he would never talk about it, but I knew that my journey pained him a bit. Recognition for me has come in bits and pieces. It’s always good to get that validation. After Citylights (2014), mujhe itna saara pyaar mila for IC 814, which released this year. It took me 10 years!

Raj: She is extremely talented. I am not saying this because she is my partner, but I am inspired by her as an actor. I don’t know why she didn’t get enough deserving work after Citylights. I’m there for her, but acting is a personal lonely process. People can be around, but only you have to deal with your struggles. She had to fight it out herself. We follow this practice where she reads my reviews, and I read hers. When I started reading comments like how she was the show stealer in the series, I kept sending her the screenshots proudly.
How important is it for you to retain your individuality and independence in your marriage?
Patra: Raj is my best friend, we grew up together. Initially, we were stuck at the hip. We did everything together. He then got busy with his shoots. I still remember, when he would watch some film or series without me, I would ask him, ‘Why did you do that? That’s cheating!’ I soon realised that this will be our normal. He’s the most down to earth person I know. Even after finding success, he’s the most basic guy. I used to think movie stars are supposed to be a certain way, he’s anything but that. Sometimes, I feel people take advantage of his simplicity, but I feel he’s aware of that and allows it. He likes to be at peace. If his call time is 5 am, he wakes up at 2.30am, does his pooja, meditates and then leaves. Whether he gets to sleep for 45 mins or 2 hours, he won’t miss his schedule. He carries his late parents’ photo and my late father’s photo along with his little mandir wherever he goes.
Raj: We are who we are because of our blessings. I can’t change myself. That’s too much of an effort. When I joined the industry, I didn’t get a memo that you need to be a certain way. Your work is all that matters. My mother was extremely spiritual and religious so that grew on me. She would get up at 4am in Gurgaon and bhajans would play in the house. I started inclining towards it. It helps me keep calm and reminds me who I am. Nobody.
Patralekhaa and Rajkummar with their dog, Gaga

Losing your parents, then losing your dog Gag a (this October), who was an integral part of your family... how has personal loss changed you as a person?
Raj: I have got more clarity in life after enduring this pain. I lost my parents, Patra’s dad is no more, and we lost Gaga recently. Having seen death so closely, I have realised you don’t need to take life so seriously. You don’t need to constantly plan and be sure of your future. Live your life and do good karma. When death comes knocking, all the things that you stress about, won’t even matter. If Stree 2 does well, I am happy, but I don’t take success or failure to heart anymore. Everything is just a phase, and the show must go on.
Patra: I saw my dad working hard for the last 35 years of his life. He would work for 14-15 hours a day. He had gone for work to Shimla where he had a stroke. Whoever checked him didn’t know what it was. By the time I reached the hospital, he had passed away. There were no doctors around. He was just lying there. Before this incident, I used to be unhappy about why things weren’t going my way career wise, why work isn’t happening, etc. When I saw him there, I realised, work is just a part of your life, not your whole life. Your work doesn’t decide your worth. That was my biggest learning from the death I saw so closely. With Gaga, she was our anchor. For the seven years that she was with us, she taught us so many things. It may sound strange to some but losing a pet is as painful as losing a parent. With grief, you just have to go through it. You can’t snowboard into work. There’s no escape from it.
Rajkummar Rao and Patralekhaa in stills from their respective hits Stree 2 and IC814

Has OTT democratised the casting process, or do you find streaming platforms still demanding big faces?
Patra: Even OTT needs viewership that must transition to subscription. Following this pattern hasn’t left the process democratic anymore. Initially, it was a lot better. Today, an actor is known by his social media following. Chances of you bagging a role are stronger if you are popular on social media.
Raj: I don’t get this logic. I have heard this myself ki, ‘Iske itne saare followers hai toh isko film mein lenge toh it will help the film’. Being an actor and a social media star are two very different things. How much following you have on social media says nothing about your acting skill. If actors were to be judged based on their social media following, Kim Kardashian should have been the biggest Hollywood star. Ranbir Kapoor is not even on social media, and he is a solid actor! It doesn’t matter if you are trained or not, what matters is whether you are talented. An actor must be deserving of the time an audience invests in them.
The perception is that the women in our industry are expected to look a certain way, but that, to some extent, applies to men as well. Raj, there were speculations on what procedures you may or may not have undergone. What are your thoughts on this?
Raj: Nobody forces you to do it. Films are a visual medium, so if you want to look nice, why not? To each his own. I only see this happening here. When I was promoting my film Srikanth, people would do my interview and only this portion (chin question) would get highlighted. As if koi aur baat hi nahi hai karne ke liye. You think Brad Pitt looks this way at 60 without doing anything to his face? It’s about taking care of yourself. Our face is our tool as actors. This is what we sell, and we must take care of it. It has to go for servicing and fixing from time to time. You should do whatever gives you confidence and makes you happy.
Patra: If something is making you happy, why not? It’s very subjective. If a line or a wrinkle is bothering you and you want to get Botox done, it’s fine. If you want to lose or gain weight, you do that. It’s easy for people to sit around and pass comments that isnay yeh kyu kara, woh kyu karwaya? But it takes a lot of confidence to stand in front of the camera knowing crores of people will be watching and scrutinising you.

About the Author

Renuka Vyavahare

A lipstick obsessed compulsive shopper, Renuka is not spaced out when watching a good film or a good game. A film critic for The Times of India and entertainment/sports writer for Bombay Times, she likes everything British, especially Tom Hiddleston.

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